etee's Blog

Somehow lost in all the ongoing hullabaloo surrounding The Greatest Entertainer Who Ever Lived In The History Of The Entire Universe:

President Obama Apologizes to British in 4th of July Speech

In a speech given to the British-America Society this past Saturday, President Barack Obama stunned those in attendance when he formally apologized to the British Crown for the "cowardly and totally inappropriate actions by some of her ill-behaved subjects" that resulted in the break from the Empire during the late 1700s. "It is obvious that this was the result of the actions of a few right-wing extremists on the lunatic fringe, and by no means reflects the beliefs or values of mainstream America, who afterall voted overwhelmingly Red in the last election."

The President then make a unique offer to help heal the rift that the Revolution helped to create: he got down on one knee, and swore fealty to the Crown and Sovereign on behalf of the entire nation. Pledging to work toward eventual reunion with the Mother Country, he signed a Presidential Decree ordering that, beginning in September, "God Save the Queen" will be sung at the beginning of the day in all public schools.

In response to the President's speech, the new Democrat super-majority in the US Senate passed a resolution renaming itself to 'The House of Lordz', while Lady House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) walked through a corridor filled with portraits of conservative talk show hosts, pointing to each one in turn and shouting "Off With Their Heads!" to the Sergeant-at-Arms.

(Inspired by something I found in the Twittersphere)