etee's Blog

Hell's Kitchen
Apr 02, 2009

This week... in HELL'S KITCHEN:

Follow up:

The contestants head back to the dorm, with Carol and Andrea continuing picking up where they left off on their little spat, and Giovanni and Paula tell them to cool it. Next morning, they arrive in the kitchen to find out that Chef Ramsay has crabs. A big pile of them. King Crabs. And they look terrifying. The Challenge: each contestant is to prepare a dish using King Crab, then each team will decide on the best one, which will be presented to Chef Ramsay for judgement. The team with the best dish, wins. The other team... well, let's not think about that, shall we?

As the teams are selecting their dishes to present, two chefs stand out: Andrea on the Red Team, and Ben on the Blue Team, each being strong advocates for their own dish. A chance for them to shine... or so they think. Other chefs (specifically Paula and Danny) think they are way too full of themselves, but sometimes you just gotta stand back and let the 2x4 hit the jackass smack upside the head...

Andrea and Ben win (or so they think), and present their dishes to Chef Ramsay. He tastes them both, and pronounces them... a steaming pile of putrid horse apples uninspired. He especially didn't like the empty crab shell that Andrea "garnished" her dish with (hint to prospective chefs: if you can't eat it, don't put it on the plate.) Chef Ramsay calls Paula and Danny forth, and tastes their dishes. Much better, he exclaims. He also wants to know why in the **** these dishes weren't the ones presented to him in the first place. He thinks long and hard, and announces his decision... after the break.

We're back... and he decides that the Blue Team is the winner. The Red Team is royally pissed, especially Paula, since had Andrea let her dish go first, she woulda stomped a mudhole in Ben's dish. As it is, their punishment is to clean all the King Crab for the next service. Oh, and also to clean the dorms, and the kitchen. The Blue Team is ecstatic, as they get to go out with Chef Ramsay, and leave "the women" to clean up after them: to celebrate, Robert makes sure to leave his smelly socks and funky undies ("with extra skid marks", he proudly announces - TMI, Robert) for them to clean up. The guys head to the beach, where they ride Segways (except for Robert, as the Segway has a weight restriction) and eat lobster for lunch (with Robert reminiscing how he likes his poached in extra butter, which might explain why he can't ride a Segway - or a helicopter.)

When they get back, Chef Ramsay has a special surprise for them: he is allowing the teams to create and prepare their own menus for the service. Three apps, three entrees, three desserts. Oh, and one dish has to feature King Crab. Each customer will get both menus, and the team whose menu gets chosen most, probably comes out ahead. The teams owrk on their menus, and Ben (whose King Crab dish, if you recall, did NOT please Chef Ramsay) continues bullying pushing his ideas on the Blue Team, while the Red Team makes sure each contestant has a say. Alas, poor Ben - sometimes a second blow with the 2x4 is required. It is noticed that, when all is said and done, the two menus look remarkably similar.

Service starts out in the way such things normally go in HELL'S KITCHEN - Chef Ramsay calls out orders, the contestants screw up the dishes, Chef Ramsay gets all screamy and yelly... rinse, lather, repeat. Tonight it's Carol in the hot seat, as the potato dish she prepared in advance turned out to be potatoes-RAW-gratin. Since Chef Ramsay wasn't going to serve RAW POTATOES to his paying customers, this little mistake stopped the Red Team in its tracks. The Blue Team didn't fare much better, as Ben's "potatoes fondant" didn't receive Chef Ramsay's stamp of approval, much to the delight of his teammates. Another blow fromt he 2x4, right on target.

This set the tone for the entire service, as both kitchens struggled to get food out. The Blue Team drew Chef Ramsay's attention, as he accused Ben of sabotaging Robert (who is more than capable of sabotaging himself, thankyouverymuch.) Of course, Carol continues her job as a one-woman wrecking ball for the career aspirations of the Red Team. Eventually, Chef Ramsay has enough, and with a ****, ****, and especially *******, orders HELL'S KITCHEN closed. Jean Philippe shows the starving customers to the door, where they then descend on the local fast-food joints like a plague of hungry locusts.

As the custmers ordered from both menus equally, it is time to go to Alternate Plan B: check the customer comment cards. As the Red Team made fewer customers sick had better ratings on their entrees, they won. As the "best of the worst", Danny was given the dubious honor of nominating one of his teammates from the Blue Team for elimination. Carol breathed a sigh of relief, as she was pretty sure she deserved to go home. Both Robert and Ben plead their case to Danny, whose head starts spinning around with the enormity of the decision facing him. When the chefs re-convene, Chef Ransay asks Danny for his decision. Danny hesitates, in the trademark "pregnant pause".

Finally, Danny announces his decision: he nominates... Ben. Chef Ramsay has both Ben and Robert step forward, and beg for their lives explain why they should remain. After hearing their miserable, pathetic pleas what they had to say, he thinks long and hard, and finally decides to send home... CAROL! She steps forward, hands over her jacket, and walks off into the sunset, being the First Ever Contestant From The Winning Team To Be 86'd (IIRC.) Danny and Ben are told to step back in line and then everyone is sent to bed with a hearty "**** off" from Chef Ramsay. And so ends another night in HELL'S KITCHEN, as the spiky gods receive their offering of a chef's jacket and a headshot. Sizzle, sizzle, SHRONK!

Be sure to tune in next week, as Chef Ramsay goes drill sergeant on the contestants, he receives a worrisome phone call, and says he may have to something Never Done Before... in HELL'S KITCHEN.