etee's Blog

Hell's Kitchen
Jul 8, 2008

This week... in HELL'S KITCHEN:

We are at the finale, the conclusion, the Final Showdown. The winner walks away with the prize, while the other... walks away.

But first, Petrozza must pick his last team member. Will it be Matt, or Jen? He finally decides on... Jen. Christina is elated. Jen is... Jen. Still convinced she is the natural leader and the best of the best, that one is.

We now have a chance to see the difference between the two contestants, as Christina is organized and prepared, while Petrozza is anything but. Jen (quite rightly so, IMHO) insists he get organized.

During prep, both Jen and Matt show us once again why they aren't in the Final Two. Matt is goofing off, while Jen is preparing... for her future. Quite brazenly, she asks Chef Ramsay for a letter of recommendation while Petrozza is out of the kitchen. I guess sucking up is an easier task than prepping veg. Christina's entire Red Team ends up saying things like ****, ****, and especially ********.

Both chefs present their dishes to Chef Ramsay for his review. Christina takes somewhat of a safe approach, while Petrozza's dishes are more imaginative... and risky. Then, he inspects their respective dining areas, and seems satisfied.

We are treated to a bit more hyperbole, and then HELL'S KITCHEN opens for the Last Supper.

And, they're off! The Red Team is first out of the gate, while the Blue Team stumbles, as Petrozza rejects Bobby's first offering. However, Petrozza's quality control pays off. Next, Matt has problems making a salad (a freakin' salad!), eliciting a minor eruption from Mt. Ramsay. Petrozza then runs out of ingredients for two of his appetizers, and

OMGOMGOMGRAMSAYTHREATENSTOCLOSEHIMDOWNOMGOMGOMG

Actually, part of that can be laid directly at Jen's feet, as she was busy sweeping when the rest of her team was prepping. As I said... Jen is Jen. Leopards changing spots, and all that.

Petrozza, thinking quickly, hits up Bobby for ideas. Bobby comes up with a risotto, which the customers like.

Christina's Red Team starts sending out entrees - and they start coming back. Luke-cool steaks cause Christina to step up the level of assertiveness. Petrozza gets in the weeds plating, while his customers wait... and wait... and wait. Finally, Chef Ramsay steps in and sets Petrozza straight.

Matt then delivers monkfish to the pass. However, sushi is not on the menu.

OMGOMGOMGMATTSERVEDRAWFISHOMGOMGOMG

Chef Ramsay gives Matt a piece of his mind. Then, he gives Jen a piece of his mind, as she gets mouthy with Petrozza. Then, back to Matt, who is convinced that the fish is uncooking itself. Here, Petrozza is showing his strength, as he takes on Jen, while Christina allows Matt to continue being a ****up, until Chef Ramsay threatens to run her kitchen for her.

Finally, the last dish is served, the last customer leaves, and it is all over.. except, that is, for the Final Judgement.

So, who is it? The catering director, or the culinary student? Flashbacks to the events of the evening are seen, as Chef Ramsay mulls it over. Decisions, decisions. Finally, it is time. Both contestants put their hands on the door, and the one that opens will signify the winner. Who will that be? We'll find out... after the break.

We're back. One... Two... Three. The door opens, and out walks... :drum roll: ... CHRISTINA!

"Oh my Goodness! Holy ****ing ****!" (Her words, not mine. Obviously, she'll get along famously with Chef Ramsay. She can already speak the lingo.)

Chef Ramsay consoles Petrozza, then raises the arm of his new Executive Chef in victory, then declares it is time to get the **** out of HELL'S KITCHEN (his words, not mine.).

Champagne flows, and confetti falls. Lots of celebration ensues.

With that, I bid you Hasta la Vista (Baby), until we meet a whole new group of suckers unemployed kitchen help assclowns seeking their fifteen minutes contestants, next year... in HELL'S KITCHEN.