etee's Blog

Hell's Kitchen
May 13, 2008

This week... in HELL'S KITCHEN:

Whiny Matt undergoes Chef Ramsay's version of gender reassignment, as he is put on the women's team. After they all fail to identify the faux meat in three dishes, they are given a chance to demonstrate their palates (or lack thereof) in a blind taste test. It seems more like "lack thereof", as the contestants (the men especially) can't seem to identify hardly anything. It comes down to Ben vs. Whiny Matt, in an epic matchup Chef Ramsay compares to "Tyson vs. Holyfield." Hmmm, wonder if that means they are going to taste each others ears.

It turns out they have to identify 10 ingredients in a bowl of clam chowder. Whiny Matt leads his new team to victory, and the reward is a special spa treatment. And Ben gets to serve them iced tea. I am somewhat disappointed that he doesn't pour Matt's right on his facial.

At the beginning of The Service, the Red team gets off to a totally screwed up start, as Rosann manages to screw up the scallops. Then she puts out some RAW SEAFOOD, eliciting a full-blown eruption from Mt Ramsay. The Blue team isn't immune, as Chef Ramsay unloads on Ben, giving him a full salvo of ****, ****, and especially *******.

The entrees are so slow getting out that the 'customers', having run out of bread, are reduced to eating each other. Metaphorically speaking, of course. On the Red team, Rosann is cooking RAW SEAFOOD, while on the Blue Team Ben's 'well done' Wellingtons are being returned because the customers, as hungry as they are, can't stand it when their food moos at them. Finally, Chef Ramsay has had enough... and he orders the Kitchen closed.

Me thinks there will be a losing team this night.

I was right. The Blue team was declared the losing team, and to add insult to injury, Matt is singled out for a public complement. The men are sent out with instructions to each select someone to nominate, and Ben gets all 'strategic'. They all nominate each other, then it comes to Petrozza, who will announce his decision... after the break.

And he nominates himself. Chef Ramsay congratulates Petrozza on his maturity, then demands that Ben surrender his jacket, as an offering to the spiky gods.

Once again I bid you arrivederci, until the contestants play musical teammates, someone adds a special ingredient into their dish for the visiting food critics, and Chef Ramsay hits the wall, again and again and again, next week... in HELL'S KITCHEN.

(cross-posted at etee too)