etee's Blog

Hell's Kitchen
May 6, 2008

This week... in HELL'S KITCHEN:

We begin with Christina uttering terroristic threats promising to take out her teammates, followed by both teams conspiring against themselves.

The next morning we start with The Challenge: It's a sweet-16 party. A hundred dollars for 3 courses. Matt is an early favorite to offer up his jacket as a sacrifice, as he has come down with a severe case of Idontgivea****itis. Hearing just one of the courses (stuffed chicken wings!? Chicken wings!? CHICKEN WINGS!?) I can't say I blame him.

PLOT TWIST: the birthday girl is going to help judge the offerings. To show the depth of her palate, she chooses the ****ng chicken wings!

Oh well.

The women lose, and their punishment is to spend the day decorating the dining room with The Obligatory Stereotypical Gay Party Planner, who of course clashes with the Wicked Witch of the errr, mother of the birthday girl over the decorations. Seriously, folks, could we find anybody more stereotypically gay than this character?

Love in Hell? Louross and Corey make out meet up in the hot tub. No sparks, though, as Louross totally dorks out, and Corey mentions that she has a boyfriend.

And then, it's time for The Service: the Stereotypical Gay Party Planner (who changed his Clockwork Orange suit for a pastel blue one thankyouJesus) introduces the other Queen in the room (that would be the Birthday Girl.) Things head downhill when the entrees go out, as both the Guest of Honor and her mother send their plates back. Seems our Sweet 16-er doesn't like RAW BEEF. Especially when it moos at her as she cuts it.

I'm thinking PETA just got a new convert.

Rosann tries to cook the beef again, and again she screws it up. So, Chef Ramsay takes over, and cooks the steak himself. Meanwhile, the Black Gordon Ramsay (a.k.a. Bobby) takes over the preparation of the mother's fish from Matt.

Eventually, they finish cooking the food, and present the birthday girl with one more surprise - Pink Spiders! Oh, that's a performance by the Pink Spiders.

Chef Ramsay announces the results: 98% of the paid extras customers would return to the men's kitchen - and 99% of them would return to the women's! One more time, we have No Losing Team - and both teams get to nominate one for elimination. Matt goes off to pack his bags, while the women argue about who should join him.

The men nominate Matt (who else?), and the women nominate Shayna. Chef isn't happy about that, so Rosann ends up nominated as well. Matt gets all whiny, Chef gets all shouty, and finally Chef announces this week's offering to the spiky gods... after the break.

So, who will it be... overcooked fish, or undercooked meat? My money is on Rosann.

Back from the break, Chef announces that Shayna is leaving.

Whoa.

Chef then congratulates Rosann for turning the birthday girl into a vegetarian. Oh... and Matt is reassigned to cook with the women's team.

Double whoa.

Once again I bid you sayonara, until Whiny Matt and Fine Dining both return along with Chef Ramsay shouting ****, ****, and especially *******, next week... in HELL'S KITCHEN.

(cross-posted at etee too)