etee's Blog

Cheesy Threat Advisory Level: Cheddar - Orangy

The following is an ED Action Moment, from your President:

Good morning, again. Today, it is my privilege to announce yet another breakthrough in the ongoing Global War on Graffiti (GWoG) - an announcement which will affect the lives of millions and millions of our schoolchildren.

Intelligence operatives from the Executive Decision Action Moment Action Moment Enforcement (EDAMAME) Agency have discovered a covert communications channel being used by the Islandofascists in the planning of their devious and diabolical doings. This communications channel was not one using special encrypted cellphones, or satellite signals: oh, no, it was much worse than that.

They were using our children as human carrier pigeons, passing messages from one to another while engaged in that playground pastime known as 'tag'. The message hand-off would occur when one player 'tagged' another.

This, my fellow citizens, is totally unacceptable. Almost as bad as trolling the public restrooms looking for illicit anonymous gay sex honorable Senators to harass in an obviously partisan witch-hunt.

In order to deny the Islandofascists continued access to this communications pipeline, I have been forced, by issuance of this ED Action Moment, to henceforth and forevermore forbid, prohibit, and ban the practice of playing 'tag' on our school playgrounds, in our parks, on our streets, and everywhere else in the jurisdiction of our great nation. The penalty for playing 'tag' will be indefinite confinement in one of the Special Rendition facilities operated by the Executive Decision Action Moment Action Moment Enforcement (EDAMAME) Agency - where it must be stressed that people are not tortured - as well as a three-day suspension from school.

An important reminder: if the deep patriotic stirrings which should result from an ED Action Moment last longer than 4 hours, seek prompt medical attention.

Thank you. And, good night.