etee's Blog

Cheesy Threat Advisory Level: Velveeta - Yellowy

The following is an ED Action Moment, from your President:

Recently, there have been reports of a Republican Senator getting caught while soliciting anonymous, illicit, gay sex in a public restroom.

I must take exception to that claim. In fact, the honorable Senator was on a special sooper sekkrit mission for the Executive Decision Action Moment Action Moment Enforcement (EDAMAME) Agency, investigating reports that graffiti is being written on bathroom walls. His mission was to document and follow up on whatever graffiti he found. This mission was an essential piece of the Global War on Graffiti (GWoG), as the walls of public restrooms seem to be a favorite target of the Islandofascists.

While he was conducting his investigation, though, it appears he had an epiphany. He assured me in person that his arrest and subsequent legal troubles were the direct result of his "finding Jesus" while in the bathroom, and that when he was asked where he was from, he responded "Idaho". It also appears that the Almighty is a bit hard of hearing, as the Senator kept having to repeat this, loudly. Which matches what the arresting officer reports, that when arrested the Senator was saying to the person in the next stall, "Idaho." "Idaho!" "I-DA-HO!"

Anyway, the Senator is an honorable man, who is being persecuted for his participation in response to an ED Action Moment. Which, I am sure you will agree, is totally wrong.

An important reminder: if the deep patriotic stirrings which should result from an ED Action Moment last longer than 4 hours, seek prompt medical attention.

Thank you. And, good night.