etee's Blog

Cheesy Threat Advisory Level: Cheddar - Orangy

The following is an ED Action Moment, from your President:

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There are two new policies that are being implemented, in an attempt to protect our neighborhoods from the evil Islandofascists and their so-called 'street art'. It is imperative that all patriotic Americans be aware of, and comply, these new policies. After all: they are there for your own good, and they are a key tool in the Global War on Graffiti (GWoG).

The first policy is that the Executive Decision Action Moment Action Moment Enforcement (EDAMAME) Agency will be installing cameras at random locations throughout major metropolitan areas. These cameras will be monitored 24/7, and will be used to look for attractive women who are naked signs of Islandofascist activity. Interfering with the operation of these cameras will be considered a Class 1 Felony. Making ugly faces, or obscene hand gestures, in the direction of the cameras will be considered interfering with their operation.

The second policy is that, henceforth, private ownership of cameras will be banned in major metropolitan areas. This includes both still and video cameras. Additionally, persons will be required to undergo a background check before they are allowed to purchase a camera, and the purchase of film by persons will be limited to no more than five (4) rolls of film or videotapes in any one calendar month.

Those vaguely suspected of being found to be in violation of this ED Action Moment will be taken into custody by the Executive Decision Action Moment Action Moment Enforcement (EDAMAME) Agency, and taken to Special Renditioning facilities where they will not be tortured.

An important reminder: if the deep patriotic stirrings which should result from an ED Action Moment last longer than 4 hours, seek prompt medical attention.

Thank you. And, good night.