etee's Blog

Hell's Kitchen
July 23, 2007

This week... in HELL'S KITCHEN:

The Red and Blue teams merge to form the Black team, and Josh celebrates by demonstrating his skill at 'catching' champagne in his mouth. For some reason, this reminds me of the Viva paper towel commercial where the kid sprays his mom with soda, and she responds by hosing him down with the sprayer attachment from the kitchen sink.

For the first time this season, the challenge is an individual one: prepare a dish for a group of 'trendsetters'. With visions of various celebrities dancing in their heads, the contestants don blindfolds and get in the HK SUVs for the trip. Somehow, I am thinking they are heading to the local soup kitchen.

Or Alhambra High school, where they have one hour to prepare something for 100 students. Oh yes, such culinary trendsetters - which is why we don't have any problem with childhood obesity [/snark].

The food is as diverse as the chefs, from Rock's kobe beef meatloaf (too bad Micah on Top Chef didn't try this during her debacle) to Bonnie's fried goat cheese over salad (look, if the kids would actually eat this stuff, we wouldn't have a childhood obesity problem [/snark]), the dishes all showed a measure of creativity. But, in the end, it was Julia's chicken sandwich and onion rings which captured the palates of the high schoolers (along with 51% of the votes), winning the day and demonstrating why we have a childhood obesity problem [/snark]. She picks Jen to accompany her to Las Vegas, while the other three are sent back to HELL'S KITCHEN for something really unpleasant.

Julia and Jen get to spend some quality time at the Green Valley Resort, then head over to the Red Rock's Terra Rosa, where they meet Season 2 winner Heather and have a chance to taste a few of her creations while getting some tips from her.

Meanwhile, the three losers are busily steam cleaning and ironing, which triggers another display of temper and accompanying [NAUGHTY WORD] barrage from Rock. Then, during prep, Bonnie, remembering what happened to Joanna, throws out some monkfish which she thinks smells bad - but actually it just smells like monkfish. Bonnie is made to retrieve the fish from the trash by Sous Chef MaryAnne, and now she has visions of Jen dancing in her head.

As service starts, Josh decides to start cooking appetizers before they are ordered - a tactic which Chef Ramsay observes is characteristic of that rare species known as the "fing donut", of which Josh is now a confirmed member. Chef then lays the smack down on Rock for overcooking the scallops, and jumps on Julia for her missteps at the vegetable station. Bonnie and Jen, on the other hand, are sending out entrees in record time.

Flash [NAUGHTY WORD] Warning! Josh finally gets on Mt Ramsay's last nerve, who erupts with the force of a verbal Vesuvius. He then takes it a step farther, and ejects Josh from the kitchen, taking away his jacket and tossing it off to the side. Josh packs his things and leaves. This wasn't a case of his being 86'd: Josh was fired. Canned. Shown the door.

Jen is assigned to take over appetizers, and the kitchen starts sending out food in the order God (or at least Chef Ramsay, His emissary in HELL'S KITCHEN) intended. Julia has some more problems, but nothing compared to Rock, whose temper is in runaway mode. This draws several rebukes from Chef Ramsay, and both Rock and Jen finish the service muttering under their breath.

But, finish it they do. And, given that it was Bonnie's best service to date, she gets to nominate the two prospective sacrificees (Josh didn't count: apparently, his sins make him an unappetizing sacrifice for the spiky gods.) Rock is her first nominee (obviously), with the second being... Julia. This is a good choice actually, as the closer they get to the end of the competition, the more Julia's inexperience in the ways of haute cuisine proves a handicap.

Chef Ramsay also realizes this, and Julia is the one to be 86'd. However, in a scene right out of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Chef Ramsay gives Julia a hug, and tells her he is sending her to culinary school! Once she graduates, he expects her to return and win the whole thing. Until then, though, her jacket gets some impalation therapy, and her picture suffers from a bout of Spontaneous Photograph Combustion, as the spiky gods are finally appeased for the week.

And so, we have the Final Three in HELL'S KITCHEN: Bonnie the Nanny, Jen the 'Pastry Chef', and Rock the Executive Chef. It only promises to get harder from here on. How much harder, we will find out, next week... in HELL'S KITCHEN.

(cross-posted at etee too)