etee's Blog

Fresh on the heels of his decision to commute the sentence of "Skater" Libby as 'too harsh', word on the street is that President Bush, having declared himself the "Commuter-in-Chief", may intervene in the case of a Katy ISD student sentenced to 4 months in Prison Prep 'alternative school' for writing a love note - on a school wall, with a Sharpie.

An unnamed mole source within the Administration provided us with a draft of the proposed announcement:

"The Constitution gives the President the power of clemency to be used when he deems it to be warranted. It is my judgment that a commutation of the prison 'alternative school' term in this case is an appropriate exercise of this power. However, if the decision had been made to impose the death sentence, I would not have done anything to impede its execution. I come from a part of the world where criminal conduct should have serious consequences. And, writing on the wall with a baby-blue Sharpie is a serious offense indeed, on the same level as making terroristic threats... WT?!? This is about terrorism?!? In that case, prison 'alternative school' is far too lenient for the young animal. Accordingly, I have directed the CIA to take the student involved to a special facility, operated by their very own 'Rendition Group', where it must be noted that she will not be tortured."

In other news: the above case has spurred new calls for "pen control" laws among the Demn leadership in Congress. "If, indeed, 'the pen is mightier than the sword', then it is our duty to control who can purchase, possess, and use these Weapons of Mass Description," said a noted Demn strategist.