etee's Blog

National Threat Advisory: ELEPHANTS

At a campaign stop recently, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) promised that her election to the office of President, if successful, would bring a 'new focus' to the people of America.

"For far too long," she told admirers at a fund raiser, "people have been complaining about a Republican administration. If I am elected, I promise that the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy will turn their sights on me, and that I will be the one embroiled in all the controversies. Next time, it will be me who will be pilloried regarding the firing of the US Attorneys. My decision to not only replace, but to persecute prosecute the staff of the White House Travel Office will be what is called into question. The choices I make regarding the contents of my Cabinet will be vilified. For the next 4 years, it will be all about me, Me, ME!!!!! Do you hear that, Rush? Sean?? BILL?!?"

In other news that day, it was reported that syncophants donors gave over a hundred thousand dollars to Hillary's campaign by stuffing $1,000 bills into her g-string, and that she and Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) engaged in an impromptu Jello-wrestling contest when Ms. Jackson Lee spotted a camera in the crowd, and knocked Hillary off the podium in an effort to get in front of it.